


I Got You, Bro

by brazenlyunabashedlyshamelessly



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Inspired By Tumblr, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 20:33:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20297536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brazenlyunabashedlyshamelessly/pseuds/brazenlyunabashedlyshamelessly
Summary: Hello Sandra. I have this friend Dennis who’s runningon a pretty dry streak and is in desperate need of ablowjob. Think you could help him out? He’s not evenugly.If you were a true friend to Dennis you’d give him oneyourself.





	I Got You, Bro

**Author's Note:**

> So, I haven't written smut for smut's sake in about a million years, so I'd love to hear what you'd think.

** Hello Sandra. I have this friend Dennis who’s running  
** ** on a pretty dry streak and is in desperate need of a** ****  
** blowjob. Think you could help him out? He’s not even  
** ** ugly.**

** If you were a true friend to Dennis you’d give him one  
** ** yourself.**

  
For just a moment, all Mac McDonald can do is stare down at his phone as his brain struggles to comprehend what this _ Sandra _ chick had just suggested. The nerve of her, to even _ think _to imply that he isn’t a good friend to Dennis. As if there isn’t anything in the world Mac wouldn’t do for his best friend.

He scowls, and tosses the phone away from him across the couch. Mac can feel his lower lip jutting out as he crosses his arms over his chest and slumps down in his seat, but he doesn’t care. This situation is getting out of hand. 

The last few weeks have been a friggin’ nightmare. Mac doesn’t know what the hell they’ve been putting in the water, but chicks have been turning Dennis down flat. No rueful giggles, or apologetic winces, nada. Just stone cold refusals. 

One cute redhead had even threatened to tase him. 

Dennis was losing confidence, and it bugged the hell out of Mac to see it. It reminds him of, like, a flower that’s been cut off from the sun, all droopy and sad. 

He’s pretty sure that without the attention, Dennis might die. It was the whole reason Mac had even joined Tinder; since real life chicks weren’t working out, maybe the sad losers online would be willing.

None of them were.

But this Sandra chick, she’d been the first one to actually offer a _ solution _, instead of just launching a series of attacks on his character. 

Mac purses his lips thoughtfully; he leans across the couch to grab his phone again.

** Hadn’t thought of that.  
  
**

Hopping off the couch, Mac heads for Dennis’s bedroom. The room is… kind of a mess, which is weird for Dennis. The guy is usually so goddamn tidy, it makes Mac’s asshole clench. But today the place looks like a bomb has hit it; clothes have been flung around, the bed is unmade, empty coffee mugs litter the floor and bedside table. 

But worse than the state of the bedroom is Dennis’s unkempt appearance. He’s lying on his back, staring at the ceiling; his cheeks are dusted with stubble, and his hair is an unruly mess. The shirt he’s wearing is rumpled and creeping up his front, revealing a strip of pale skin.

It’s a pretty good look, Mac can’t help but notice. Only Dennis would make having some sort of personal crisis look good.

“Dude, it’s time to snap out of this,” he announces. His lips purse unhappily when Dennis doesn’t even glance in his direction.

“Leave me alone to die.”

Mac can’t help but roll his eyes. It probably isn’t the best response to that kind of comment, but dear God, Dennis can be such a friggin drama queen. 

“Seriously? This is what a couple days without head does to you?” 

“I’ve lost it,” Dennis says morosely. He looks up at Mac with wide eyes, his mouth turned down at the corners. “I’m… God, I’m ordinary.”

“Oh, c’mon.” Mac drops down onto the bed beside Dennis. He scoots closer so that he’s at Dennis’s eye level. “You could never be ordinary.”

“But nobody wants me,” Dennis whispers.

Okay, that makes Mac kinda sad. He huffs out a sigh.

“What you need is to recharge. Go take a shower, and I’ll take care of it.”

“How?”

“Shower first. I’ll tell you after.”

Dennis hesitates, lips pursed. After a moment, he releases a deep sigh.

“Fine.”

Okay, so if all else fails, at least Dennis will have showered. That’s gotta count for something. 

He doesn’t feel like just lying around while he waits. It’s a waste of time, he tells himself as he starts straightening the bed. It has nothing to do with the nervous feeling fluttering in his stomach at the thought of what he’s about to maybe do.

The thing is, Mac has spent some time—just a little—thinking about the… mechanics of oral sex. For, like, science and stuff.

Like, what does a dick taste like? Is it weird to have it in your mouth? How d’you get ‘round to swa—

“Okay, now what?” 

Mac lets out a little squeak, and spins around to face Dennis. He’s in a fresh pair of sweats, and his hair is still damp; he’d kept the stubble though, and Mac can’t help but gulp. 

Twisting at the hem of his shirt, Mac takes a step away from the bed. 

“Have a seat.”

“I don’t have energy for whatev—”

“Exactly!” Mac waves his arms around excitedly. “I have a plan to give you a little… boost.”

This gives Dennis pause. He gives Mac a doubtful look, but does as he’s told, sitting on the edge of the mattress. 

“Right, so, uh…” Mac clears his throat. “You’ve hit kind of a rough patch, and you’ve lot confidence—”

“Tell me something I don’t already know.”

“—so I think a blowjob’ll get you back on your feet.”

There’s a beat of silence. Dennis looks as confused as Mac has ever seen him.

“Okay, so that’s not a terrible plan,” Dennis concedes. “Who’s the girl?”

“Yeah, slight problem with that,” Mac says. God, why is his mouth so dry? “I can’t find a girl willing to do it.”

“Then why the hell did you even bring it up?” Dennis says, outraged. 

“Because I’m gonna do it.”

Dennis’s mouth shuts with an audible click. 

When the silence starts to stretch, Mac begins to babble. 

“Now, you don’t need to think of it as, like, a traditional blowjob. It’s more of a, like, um, like a… a _ brojob. _ No big deal. Just a little somethin’ to, y’know, get you back on your feet. And also,” he adds hastily, in case this is what’s freaking Dennis out, “it wasn’t really even my idea.”

“Then whose idea was it?” Dennis asks, finally finding his voice.

“Some chick on Tinder.”

“You talk about me to people on Tinder?”

“I was looking for a girl for _ you _!”

“Oh.” Dennis looks kind of vulnerable for a moment. “Really?”

“Course, man. I want you to feel better.”

This time, the silence feels less awkward. Dennis’s shoulders relax a fraction. 

“Okay.”

“Huh?”

“You can give me a… brojob.”  
  
“Oh, great.”

Mac just stands there, bouncing on the balls of his feet. He has no idea how to start. After a minute or two, Dennis raises his eyebrows in question. 

“Take your pants off,” Mac says abruptly.

“Um, okay.”

He does his best not to watch while Dennis shucks his pants, but can’t quite help himself from peeking out of the corner of his eye. Just to get an idea of what he’s got to work with. 

So he’s not a jaw-breaker or anything, but his cock is long, with a bulbous head; Mac licks his lips before he can stop himself. He’s going to put that in his _ mouth. _

Once Dennis has dropped down onto the bed again, Mac moves towards him. He swallows hard as he lowers himself to his knees. It’s really hard for Mac to look Dennis in the eye, but he forces himself to do it. 

“If this gets, like, weird or whatever, you’ll tell me, right?”

“Sure.”

By now, Dennis is starting to get hard. It’s not surprising, ‘cause who doesn’t love getting head? But it’s also kind of encouraging. This can’t be _ that _ weird, if Dennis is into it?

Mac’s first touch is hesitant. His fingers brush against hot skin for just a second before recoiling; Dennis hisses in a sharp breath at the contact. 

“Was that okay?” he asks, his brows lifting worriedly. 

“For the point-two seconds I felt you,” Dennis grouses. He’s giving Mac a look that he can’t quite interpret. 

_ Jackass. _

This time, Mac tries to be firmer, less… squeamish, maybe. He grasps Dennis’s cock in his right hand and gives a few tentative strokes. It’s a little dry, and for a moment, Mac wonders whether he should ask for lube. 

But that’s kinda… not the point. 

_ No guts, no glory. _

He leans forward, flicks out his tongue, and tastes the head of Dennis’s cock. It’s a fleeting touch, but it makes Dennis’s hips jerk. Mac’s feels a sharp jolt of excitement; before he ducks in to lick Dennis again, he pauses, trying to figure out what exactly he tastes like. 

“Are you writing the next great American novel down there?” Dennis snipes. Mac can see that his fingers have bunched in the comforter beneath him. 

“Just gimme a sec.”

Salty and, like, bitter, but not gross. Mac leans forward again, taking another, longer swipe over the head. The taste is stronger this time. A bead of precum is welling up on the head, and Mac rubs his thumb over it, spreading the moisture. 

“Oh, y’know what, I’ll just do it myself.”

Dennis reaches down to touch himself, but Mac knocks his hand away. 

“Don’t be a…” Well, Mac was going to tell him not to be a dick, but that would probably be a little too on the nose right now. He leans back slightly, his gaze still fixed on Dennis’s cock. Now that his mouth has been on it, he kinda wants to do it again. 

_ Is that gay? _

Nah. He’s just helping out his friend. 

That fluttering in his stomach has ramped up; in his pants, Mac can feel his own dick starting to harden. 

_ Don’t think about it. _

Mac leans forward and brushes his lips against Dennis’s tip. His eyes close. He presses soft kisses slowly down the shaft; once he reaches the base, he licks a long, leisurely stripe back up to the tip. 

“Jesus, Mac,” Dennis breathes. 

But Dennis sounds like he’s coming from far away. Resting his hands against Dennis’s thighs to keep himself steady, Mac takes him into his mouth. 

He starts out slow and shallow, just the head in his mouth, running his tongue around the tip; the taste of precum takes some getting used to. Inching down the shaft, he isn’t really sure how to go about this. Does he keep licking? Should he make like a hoover? 

How do chicks do this? Do you get used to having a dick in your mouth? 

Experimentally, he starts to suck. 

Almost immediately, Dennis’s hips buck; Mac had so not been ready for that, and he starts to choke. He pulls away.

“Don’t do that,” he huffs once he’s caught his breath. Dennis is staring at him with wide eyes. 

“So—sorry,” he stammers. “I just… I wasn’t expecting that.”

“What d’you mean, you weren’t expecting it? You’ve gotten head before.”

“It’s been awhile, okay?” Dennis’s cheeks are flushed. 

“Well, just… hold still.”

Giving Dennis a dark look, he leans forward again. To be on the safe side, he wraps his right hand around the base of Dennis’s cock before taking him back into his mouth. He’s feeling a little more confident this time; Mac works his way down the shaft slowly. With every inch, he pauses to suckle a little; Mac can feel Dennis’s thigh tensing beneath his left hand. Mac rubs his thumb in a soothing circle against sensitive skin. 

By now, he’s taken in maybe half of Dennis’s length, his lips stopping just short of his fist. For a second, he doesn’t wanna move; he’d worked damn hard to get this far down Dennis’s cock. To just pull back up would be giving up all the ground he’d gained. He tries sucking on the length in his mouth, wincing slightly as he starts to drool. 

This whole blowjob thing is _ not _as easy as it looks. 

But the spit does is provide some very helpful lubrication. Above him, Dennis is cursing, and not in a _ dude, please, stop _kind of way. That’s encouraging.

Mac slides his lips back up along Dennis’s length, and allows his hand to follow. When he reaches the tip, his tongue darts out to tease the underside of Dennis’s cock while he uses his right hand to jerk him off slowly. 

The taste really isn’t that awful once you get used to it. 

“Fuck, Mac.” Dennis’s voice is an unsteady rasp; he’s reached out to grip Mac’s left hand.

And so, Mac starts to build a rhythm. He takes as much of Dennis as he can, jerking him off all the while. Words are tumbling past Dennis’s lips, but Mac can’t concentrate on that. His jaw is starting to ache, and his own dick is hard beyond baring. But the only option he has is to either release his grip on Dennis’s cock, or pull away from where their hands are clasped. 

None of the above; at least, not now. 

There’s this hunger clawing at Mac right now, and his dick _ hurts _ . He redoubles his efforts on Dennis. If Dennis will just _ come _, then Mac can too. 

_ C’mon, please. _

His chin and right hand are a mess of spit and precum; he keeps bobbing his head and stroking Dennis, getting clumsy now. Mac can feel a hand sliding into his hair. 

“God, Mac, I’m—I’m gonna…”

_ So soon? _

But this is good, it’s what Mac wants. He pulls off Dennis’s cock, lips making a wet, popping noise, so that he can stare up at Dennis’s face. His eyes are clenched tightly shut, his lips are pressed together and his brow is furrowed. 

_ He’s kinda beautiful. _

The thought has barely crossed his mind when Dennis starts to groan. His whole body is tensed up, and then… 

Jesus, he _ comes. _ For just a second, Mac forgets all about the ache in his jaw and the throbbing of his dick. He just watches as Dennis unravels, these _ sounds _spilling passed Dennis’s lips as he fractures. Cum splatters against his chin and neck, making him jerk back a little, bit it isn’t enough to tear his gaze away from Dennis for more than a moment. 

It lasts forever and not nearly long enough. Dennis falls back onto the mattress, his chest heaving; Mac feels like if he doesn’t come soon, he’ll die. 

Awkwardly, Mac pushes down his pants with his left hand while using his right to wipe the cum off his skin. Mac groans at the first touch to his dick, and the knowledge that he’s slick with Dennis’s cum makes it hard to breathe. It doesn’t take long to fall over the edge; he’d been close to it pretty much since the minute he’d dropped to his knees. 

And if Mac has to bite his left forearm to keep himself from gasping out his best friend’s name, so what? He’d just had the guy in his mouth. Of course Dennis would be the first thing on his mind when his own orgasm hit. 

There was nothing gay about that. 

Or the way Mac rested his head against Dennis’s thigh while he caught his breath. 

It takes them a few minutes to come back to themselves. Dennis sits up, and Mac pulls away, turning around to rest his back against the mattress. He becomes aware of the sticky feeling on his chest, and makes a face. 

“You should shower,” Dennis says eventually. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll…” Mac shrugs before getting to his feet unsteadily. His junk is still hanging out. Dennis doesn’t look at him as he tucks himself back into his pants. 

They don’t talk about it. 

Not after Mac comes out of the shower. 

And not the next day after Dennis comes home announcing he’d met this totally hot chick with huge boobs. 

Dennis bounces back from his slump, and goes back to being his old self. He looks at women with those big blue eyes and that charming smile, and they go back to falling into his arms. 

Everything goes back to being the way it was. And even though Mac sometimes jerks off to the memory of Dennis in his mouth, their relationship stays the same. 

Just bros being bros. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by this post of Tinder Shwinder's: https://tindershwinder.tumblr.com/post/186600415241/honestly-what-a-good-idea


End file.
